Love. Derby Style.

If you’re looking for the perfect place to take your special little honey bear this pre-valentines weekend, then look no further! The Roller Dames are playing a bout, just for you, Saturday, February 11! And while I’m giving advice, you probably should stop calling your boyfriend Honey Bear in public, it’s embarrassing. We are taking on the Oskaloosa Mayhem Girls (henceforth OMG) at Long Lines (which now serves booze!) at 7 pm, with shenanigans to follow at Dalton’s Office. And don’t forget to treat your sweetie to some Dames-approved valentines goodies, which will be available at the bout! They’re sweet and just a little salty, like a dame after a hard bout….ugh, that’s disgusting, never mind, the candy is not like a roller dame at all, it’s good, clean and smells delightful.

Tickets are available at Dalton’s Office, Knoepfler Chevrolet and Kinetico of Siouxland or from your friendly neighborhood dame.

Who’s got one working thumb, smells like Tiger Balm and is ready for more derby?

It’s the Roller Dames! We haven’t even aired out our pads from the tournament and we’re already getting back on the track. This Saturday (Oct. 22), the Dames will be back at Long Lines Family Rec Center taking on the Eastern Iowa Outlaws. Tickets are available for $8 in advance at Kinetico, Kneopfler Chevrolet or Dalton’s Office, so go get some NOW!

It’s Tourney Time!!!! (almost)

Get your fancy pants and ass kickin’ shoes ready because Rolling Along the River 4 is almost here! Saturday, October 15, twelve roller derby teams will be taking over the South Sioux City Golf Dome for a day of EPIC derby. And, make no mistake, I’m not misusing the word epic like all you young’uns are wont to do; This M-Fer is gonna have sirens, a shipwreck, angry gods, dead Trojans and a smokin’ hot queen (I’m totally talking about me). You’re gonna wake up on Sunday with skate bearings in your hair and nothing in your suitcase but a severed panty hose leg full of irregular jelly beans. Why? Who knows! These things happen at EPIC roller derby tournaments. Better bring some extra drawers.

Day passes are $5, available at the door, which will swing wide at 8:00 am. Men’s teams will be Sioux City Korn Stalkers, Cow Town Butchers, Green Bay Smackers, Your Mom, Rock City Riot and Race City Rebels. Women’s teams will be Sioux City Roller Dames, Fargo-Moorhead Derby Girls, Norfolk Bruizin’ Bettys, Sioux Falls Roller Dollz, Des Moines Derby Dames and Circle City Derby Girls.

 

Get Your PDA’s ready! Do People Still Use Those? Hell, I Don’t Know…

For tickets, go to Knoepfler Chevrolet, Dalton's Office, Kinetico Water Systems or anyone you see on the street with colorful knee-socks.

We Want You!

The Sioux City Roller Dames are recruiting!

When and where? October 2nd South Sioux Golf Dome

What? Informational meeting 11 am to noon

During the meeting, we will go over team guidelines and answer any questions you may have. After this , you are welcome to stay and watch a dames practice which goes from noon to 3.

Your face here!

Then take a week to mull it over, get some gear and skate around your kitchen. They you’re ready for try-0uts!

October 9th South Sioux Golf Dome

11 AM to noon Tryouts/boot camp. We will show you some basics of roller derby, but we mainly want to see that you are dedicated enough to be there and give it your best! Once you are on the team, you will get all of the training you need to be ready to play with us!

We are looking for female skaters as well as refs ( refs can be male or female).

If you would like more information , please send a message to our facebook page or recruiting@siouxcityrollerdames.com

How Do I Love Derby? Let Me Count the Days?

22! Only 22 days until your Roller Dames are back on the track! We’ll host the Norfolk Bruizin’ Bettys on August 27 in a bout to benefit Sk8 the State for MS, which (coincidence or impeccable planning?) will be ending their 5-day skate across Nebraska that day right here in Sioux City. Despite the rearrangement of our town to accommodate the temporary enlargement of the river, we will be back at our regular stomping grounds, Longlines Family Rec Center. Then you just have to wait two weeks until you can see us again. On September 10, we’re back at Longlines taking on the Northstar Northern Lights from the Twin Cities to benefit S.T.A.R.S.! As usual tickets are available at Dalton’s, Knoepfler Chevrolet, Kinetico or from your friendly neighborhood Roller Dame. See you at the bout!

Missed You Like the Dickens: Off-Season Wrap-Up

Let’s never be apart again! As you may have noticed, there has been far too little roller derby lately and that is because your dear little Roller Dames have taken a couple of months off. I’ve spent my free time climbing mountains (chaise lounge) in Argentina (my sister’s den) and rehabilitating (eating) orphaned lambs (ketchup-flavored chips).

Now that we’re all caught up on my life, let’s recap last year’s derby business. Last season went a little something like this: Win, Loss, Win, Win, Super-Win, Win, Loss, Win, Win, Loss, Loss, Loss, Loss. We ended with a record of 5-6, not counting the Rolling Along the River tournament, which we totally won, so if you count that as 3 wins, that gives us a winning record of 8-6. Not too shabby! However, if you didn’t go to the same statistical analysis class as I did, you might say we had a losing record.

We closed our season with an away bout against Old Capitol City Roller Girls, which was possibly the best bout ever in the history of mankind. We lost, but we lost in grand fashion, as we are wont to do. We had a sizeable lead at halftime, then in the second half OCCRG brought it like Kirsten Dunst and Eliza Dushku and quickly closed the gap. The lead flip-flopped a time or two, mistakes were made, Old Capitol played kick-ass derby and ultimately came out on top 124-141. It was one of those bouts that was so competitive and so fun, the loss didn’t really sting. The house was packed and every fan got to see some killer roller derby.

Your dear Dames will be back at home on Saturday, August 27, taking on the Norfolk Bruizin’ Bettys, then two weeks later on September 10, we  host the Northern Lights of the Twin Cities. Can’t wait that long? Come to Cedar Rapids for our season opener on August 20. It’s only like 5 hours away, not currently underwater and **bonus** most days the town smells like oatmeal. It’s a magical place and totally worth a road trip.

Stay tuned (or whatever the hell you call it when you are talking about a blog) for schedule updates and off-season shenanigans!

Shenanigans?You mean Shenanigans?Are you guys talking about Shenanigans?

 

Saturday: Noodles and Man Derby!

I hope you don’t have plans for Saturday, because it’s gonna be a huge day for derby lovers. HUGE! First, get your carb on with the Dames at our Spaghetti Feed Fundraiser. We’ve got noodles AND sauce (fancy, right?) plus silent auction stuffs! Come have lunch with us at Immanuel Lutheran Church at 315 Hamilton. If you get there around 11, you’ll have plenty of time to peruse the auction items and get your bids in.

After lunch you’ll have time to run home, get in a quick nap then head over to the Golf Dome in South Sioux City for the Korn Stalker’s very first home bout…EVER! The guys have already taken on Des Moines’ Your Mom Men’s Roller Derby and Fargo’s Rock City Riot. For their home opener, they will host Twin Cities’ TC Terrors. If you’ve never seen a men’s bout, this will be the perfect time to start. Tickets are available at the door for $12; doors open at 6 and the man-on-man action starts at 7!

Saturday Night Roller Derby Special!

This Saturday at Long Lines, one night only, you can get two roller derby bouts for the price of one! That’s right, folks! I’ve got so much roller derby, I’m giving it away! You’ll get: the Norfolk Bruizin’ Bettys taking on the Dakota City Demolition Crew; AND the smart, sexy, stain-resistant, dishwasher-safe Sioux City Roller Dames against their tournament rivals, Fargo-Moorhead Derby Girls! But wait, there’s more! White Tiger Martial Arts will be there with super-karate-chopping action during the halftime performance!

I ask you, what would you expect to pay for ALL of this? $100? $200? Well, with this special blog-o-vision offer, you can get all of this and much more (depending on whether to hit Dalton’s for the after party) for only $10. You heard me right, just $10. Get your tickets now from me, any other dame you can flag down, at Knoepfler Chevrolet, Dalton’s Pub or Kinetico of Siouxland. But hurry! A deal like this won’t last long (until game day, then tickets are $12).

It’s A-BOUT Time to Get Tickets!

We’re pert-near sold out of presale tickets, so get them while they’re cheap! Grab your $10 tickets at Kinetico on Morningside Ave, Knoepfler Chevrolet on Jackson St or Dalton’s Office on 4th and Water. Can’t get presale tickets? Well, just for you, because you’re a close, personal friend of mine, you can buy your ticket at the door for just $12.

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