I am Karmakaze

 

As a kid I was diagnosed with a heart murmur. Not a death sentence by any means, but it definitely impacted my lifestyle. I was told sports would not likely be an option for me, that pregnancy would be a touchy subject (I was 5 by the way…) and I would probably need a risky surgery. Whenever I did get involved in sports, I was told to “take it easy” “take lots of breaks” “don’t push yourself too hard.” A couple seasons of junior league soccer and a season of town-sponsored softball were pretty much the extent of my athletic career. Instead, I watched my brothers excel in their respective athletics; while I focused on academics and earning my keep by getting my first paper route at age 11 and official job at the Dairy Queen at 14.

 

In my adult life, I have developed an interest in health and wellness. With the doctor’s warning still ringing in my ears, I joined a gym instead of a team and started eating healthy. Most of my meals growing up came from a box or a can, quick and easy. Now, my food comes from the ground. I recently made the switch to a primarily plant-based diet…an herbivore. It’s as cool as it sounds, I swear. I think I spend more time preparing my food than eating it… my dad teases me, but it’s sparked an interest in him that I’m extremely proud of.

 

Throughout the years I have also developed a penchant for adrenaline. Up until last year, I got my kicks through migrating. My first soul-shaking-mind-opening-can’t believe-this-is-my-life-event happened when I packed my bags and moved to Europe. During that year I traveled to 10 different countries, met countless new friends and earned my Badge of Courage. One of my most treasured memories was catching my first glimpse of the Eiffel Tower. It literally took my breath away. I stood there with my three friends in awe, it’s when I knew that there was SO much more I wanted to see. To be.

 

Roller Derby has been my Eiffel Tower. From the moment I step on the track, I know I’m not in Kansas anymore. Between those lines, there is so much more to Be. There’s an energy that courses through the pack, like blood through veins, the jammers at heart center. Some blockers are looking to kill, waiting to pounce at the first whistle blow. Others are playful, but determined. Jammers are quick, rebound quickly and spend those 2 minutes a living, breathing target.  It’s all very exciting!

 

On top of the opportunity to hit people, be part of a team of amazing women and get fit doing it, the piéce de résistance for any derby girl is her alter ego name selection.I wish I had a neat story behind my name, but really… it was just a play on words. Karmakaze. I just thought I was being clever. I have since been told it’s the name of a band, defined by Urban Dictionary as: a person charged with the suicide mission of delivering instant karma, and the pen name of a fan-fiction author. For me, it’s the perfect balance of fortitude,determination, retaliation and all around badass-ery. I push myself daily on a physical, mental and spiritual level thanks to this sport. Take that Dr. Brogle: I am Karmakaze.

The Joys of Sitting the Bench by Eat Schmidt

 

Having to sit the bench is probably one of the hardest things to do in any sport, but I find it especially hard to do in roller derby.  Watching your close friends and teammates give 110% out on the track, getting banged up in the process can be hard to watch, especially if you aren’t out there yourself.  Being a newer skater to the team, naturally I get the privilege of sitting the bench during the bouts.  Sitting the bench is the inevitable rite of passage that everyone has to go through when starting out as a skater.  Right now it is my turn to take that seat.  Naturally, like any other competitive person, I want to be out there in the action, not warming a seat on the bench.  When sitting the bench, I realized I had two options, A: Pout, be sad, and frustrated or B: Have fun, enjoy myself, and be as much of a team player as possible.

Since I started playing roller derby, I have gotten to spend my fair share of time on the bench.  At first, I felt more comfortable sitting the bench.  At this point, I was still unsure of what I was doing and WAY too out of shape to stay in very long.  Looking back, I could barely make it through one jam without having to sit out for 5 minutes to recuperate, not to mention I understood less than 10% of the rules.  As I have progressed and grown as a skater I have started to develop this intense hunger and passion for skating and being out on the track. As you would expect of someone with this craving, I have tried to develop strategies to get into the game and believe me, I have tried just about everything I can think of.  I have spent a lot of time trying to use “the force”, puppy dog eyes, sad faces, angry stares, and my own will power to get a chance to play the game, but sadly those normally don’t work and I continue to sit on the bench.  (P.S. if you know any secret ways of mind bending or strategies to get off the bench, feel free to let me know)

This last weekend, I got the pleasure to travel with the Dames to Des Moines to play some roller derby.  I ended up spending the whole time sitting the bench along with some of the other newer skaters. The game started out slow, but within a few jams, it was full of intense, emotionally charged jams.  Everyone in the crowd and the players were on edge as each team jockeyed for the lead.  While I wasn’t physically out there playing I felt like I was with my muscles tense, holding my breath with each turn trying to will my teammates onward toward victory.   As the other team pulled ahead, I could see the looks of frustration coming from the bench and my teammates on the track.  I decided that from that point on, I was going to try to help others on the bench to focus on the positive.  While I take the game seriously, laughter and humor never hurt anyone, right?  So I proceeded to incorporate some dance parties on the bench, which is rather hard work I might add.  I intermixed these dance parties with some powerful loud cheers for my teammates, that I could only do in short bursts because I started to get light headed and had to stop or risk passing out.  And finally along with others on the team, I tried to encourage my teammates both on the bench and out on the track.  Since smiles and laughter are contagious, by the end of the game, there were smiles throughout the team (which was also because we won), but part of me would like to think it was because of peoples’ change in attitudes.

Those on the bench are just as important to the team as the players out on the track.  Not only is having a strong group of skaters on the bench important, but the attitudes of the players on the bench is also important to the strength of the team.  So the next time you get to sit on the bench, remember it is what you make of it.  You are part of the team, you practice with them, and you help make the team what it is today.  So don’t forget that and remember, have fun.

~Eat Schmidt 

Derby Blog: Version 3 by OCD

MO: “Derby Mission: I would like a write up about what makes you, you as a skater.  Email it to me in 3 weeks.  You dig?”

OCD: “Yes, ma’am.  Preferred length/alternative purpose?  Or just answer the question?”

This exchange in and of itself should be a good indicator of what makes me “OCD” on the track. And as a matter of full disclosure, it has been longer than three weeks and this is blog entry version three.

I am meticulous. I love academics. I actually enjoy editing academic papers (and will do so for money, by the way).

I like rules. And laws. I am a rule follower.

I over analyze everything. Everything. (Even now I am wondering whether I want to use these sentence fragments for effect or if I should correct them so as to better advertise my editing skills.)

These very qualities that annoy my family, friends, and total strangers are also the qualities that make me well-suited to reffing derby.

Yep, I’m a roller derby referee. Funny, Rainbow Spite, our head ref, knew it the first night.  Within a few minutes of meeting me she’d claimed me as her own. As my newbie group began our derby journey together, it became apparent that some of us were natural athletes and some of us were more….shall we say….  Oh, heck!  I’ll just say it. I had a slow skating learning curve but I rocked at the rules!

I’m happy to say that I’ve now reffed a few scrimmages and a couple bouts and I’m gaining confidence and skills every day. I’m ready and willing to learn and I’m happy to share what I know. I’m an adolescent zebra ready to blossom into adulthood!  Too much?  Okay, point taken.

I chose the name Obsessive Compulsive Destroyer. I own my disorder, but it will not control my life. I will use it for the powers of derby good, not evil!  But I am who I am, and I chose number 181. Not only is it a palindrome, but you can fold it I half vertically and it lines up perfectly!

I am The Annihilatrix.

I haven’t always been The Annihilatrix. I laced up my first pair of derby skates in 2008. For a couple months, I was just Andrea and I had a pair of shiny white skates with pink wheels. For a couple months, I was an attorney new to Sioux City and I didn’t know anyone in town except my husband and a handful of coworkers.

I decided to buy a cheap pair of dance skates and meet these girls on this brand new team. I figured I would make some friends, and then go back to being not athletic and not very good at skating. And then after about two months, I realized I wasn’t going anywhere, and I certainly couldn’t be “Andrea” on the track. What kind of derby name is that?

I racked my nerd brain and settled on a name and number that no one on my team understood. I quickly realized there was no reason to try to explain to them that I got my name from this great show, Frisky Dingo, that barely anyone watched and was already cancelled. I didn’t bother to explain that my number was Mulder’s apartment number on The X-Files, but before that it was from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I didn’t have to explain because it didn’t matter—these girls accepted me, nerdiness and all, and have allowed me to become even nerdier. (There’s RULES in derby! And STRATEGY! All sort of things my nerd brain loves!)

To my astonishment, I became a pretty good player. And everyone told me that my derby ass was lethal! There are rumors of people being scared of me on the track. (I’m not really that scary, but if someone wants to believe it, I’ll keep the myth alive.) I joke that I go out on the track and annihilate the other girls, and it sure does help me feel like a menace on the track.

I took a year off last year to have a baby. Once I was pregnant and couldn’t skate, I realized that being The Annihilatrix was a lot more than being able to skate a couple times a week. And now that I am back to skating, I know that I will always be The Annihilatrix even after I’ve retired. Derby has a way of changing a person, and the experiences I’ve had have changed me for the better. Or at least for the nerdier. I consider that a good thing.

 

What’s My Name? by Katomic Fireball

My name is Katrina Rothra.

My name is also Katomic Fireball.

This wasn’t my given name of course, but one of the many wonderful things about being in roller derby is that you get to create a whole new persona for yourself. One of the most exciting times for a new girl is when they finally get to pick out their very own derby name. It may be easy for some to come up with a name, but for others like myself it took days (maybe weeks) to come up with something that just sounded right.

Of course many people don’t understand what Katomic Fireball means. Time after time again I have been asked what my derby name is by people interested by the sport. Whenever I told them all that caught on to them was the fireball part. “Oh that’s cool” is the usual response. I of course normally just smile and nod, then continue to try and convince them to come and see us play.

When it came time for me to choose a name for myself in derby, I tried many approaches. I tried to come up with something that was clever, but sadly I am not that witty. I tried asking people who were not involved in the derby community, but this did not end quite so well because to this day my fiancé will not stop calling me the Beaver Weaver. Finally though, I asked the right person on their opinion for a name that would suit me. My father, Captain Booya of the Phoenix Rattleskates, combined something that I loved with my name.

What is a Katomic Fireball though? Well quite simply I am a small round spicy cinnamon candy! …. Well not exactly. That would be an Atomic Fireball. This candy, made in 1954, had been a staple in my diet for the past few years. It was delicious, cheap, and for some unknown reason I liked the way that it made my mouth numb after popping about 5 or 6 of them. You can compare that numbing feeling to being hit on the same spot in your shoulder too many times. Another thing that draws me to them is the explosion of pain and spice that you receive when you first taste it, but eventually it melts down to a sweet and pleasant flavor. It is much like being on the track and beating the living snot out of each other, but being best friends later at the after party.

Coming back to present day, I actually respond when people call me Katomic. I don’t have to look around to see if they were talking to someone else because it has become a part of my life that I am very happy to have. Without being Katomic Fireball, I would just be sitting around night after night with myself wishing that I could be out there doing something worthwhile.

 

To Skate or Not to Skate by Zebracakes

It all started two seasons ago when I attended my first bout (D3 vs SCRD) and I was immediately sold on this roller derby thing.  It was exciting, it was new, and it was full of colorful people.  I was drawn in and knew it was something I had to be part of.  I still remember the exhilaration and fear of going to my first informational meeting.  I wasn’t a friend, or even a friend of a friend.  I knew nobody in the derbyverse.  I was an outsider.  These were complete strangers to me and I knew this was a potentially life-altering decision:  to skate or not to skate.

What I found in derby was the most accepting group of people I’ve ever encountered in my life.  I am constantly reminded of how great the decision was to join a roller derby team and what a positive effect it has had on my life.  The past year and a half of my life has been full of change, some of it positive and some of it negative, but all of it has made me a better person as well as a better skater.

A year and a half ago I could barely stand on my skates without falling over (it’s true, ask anybody) and now I’m to the point where I’m working on improving my crab skating, something I never thought I’d be able to do.  I’ve come a long way in the relatively short time I’ve been skating, but there is so much more for me to learn.  Whether it’s at the local rink or at practice there is always something to work on or something new to try.  What’s funny is that it turned out learning to skate was the easy part.

In addition to learning how to skate I’ve also been responsible for reading (and re-reading), understanding, and enforcing the rules of roller derby.  That’s right, I’m a referee (insert boos and hisses here).  In derby, like in life, I am curious and want to understand, whether it’s strategies, rules, or skills.  I like to think that I’m a resource for the teams with which I’m affiliated, and I love it when I can help them out when they have questions.  I also enjoy going on the road and meeting different ref crews and working with new and seasoned refs.  It all makes me better.

The toughest, and I think most important, part of the reffing game for me is attitude.  It’s taken me a long time to get to the point where I actually feel confident while I project a confident exterior at the same time.  I’ve been screamed at by coaches and fans who either thought they saw something that didn’t happen, or flat-out didn’t know the complete rules of a situation.  I’ve also caught an earful for a call I should have made but didn’t.  No matter the cause, the reaction must be the same every time:  I have to maintain a professional and respectful attitude.  Anything else is unacceptable.  And in the passionate world of derby, it sometimes takes an effort to maintain that attitude.

My goals this year are to continue to hone my skills, both skating and reffing, and apply for WFTDA referee certification.  I will keep a positive attitude along the way and hopefully inspire others to do the same.

Looking back I’m still not entirely sure why I’m here, I just know that I need to be here.  I’m very proud to be part of such a great group of people and I’m excited to see where roller derby takes me next.  And all of it was made real because I decided to go to that informational meeting.  Best.  Decision.  Ever.

Zebracakes

Save our Melons! by Funsize

As some of you may not know, the dames have been doing some serious fundraising. And for what might you ask? TO SAVE OUR MELONS! Our 1st home bout of the season (Feb. 23rd) will be our new hockey helmets bout day debut. We chose to go with the Bauer 7500 hockey helmet (below). They are super awesome! They’ve got neat little gadgets on the sides that allow you to get a nice snug fit to your head and great squishy padding on the inside.

Why did the Dames choose the Bauer 7500 hockey helmets over regular skate helmets you may ask? Well, after having one of our girls suffer a very serious concussion during a bout, we took a look into what helmets we were all skating in. I, myself, a 5th season veteran was skating with the same helmet that I started the league with. Now, as a veteran skater , I really should know better. I mean , would I skate on the same knee pads for 5 seasons? Heck no! So I had to ask myself why am i using a helmet that I had to re-glue the padding in??? That’s just silly!

These new helmets took a little getting used to. They are QUITE snug until you break them in, and mine gave me a little headache the first couple times I wore it. The snap on the chin strap takes a few wears to loosen up , but after your initial break in, you FEEL SAFER (at least I do). As intense as the game of roller derby is becoming I encourage all teams to take a look at your equipment and really think to yourself “If i fall, is this really going to keep me from injury?” I sincerely hope the answer is yes because there is nothing scarier than watching a girl be removed from the track.

PS: I also got a face mask to save my money maker, but i will save that story for another time.
Derby Love,
Funsize #410